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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24592171">Nostalgia in an Essay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunhaksoo/pseuds/sunhaksoo'>sunhaksoo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Boyz (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst I guess, Eric’s mentioned for .001 seconds, Flashbacks, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kevin misses the old days, Kevin’s had a crush on Jacob for like 5 years, M/M, Really light cursing but I guess it still counts as teen and up, Secret Crush, There’s a happy ending coming though!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:41:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24592171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunhaksoo/pseuds/sunhaksoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kevin struggles to write his essay, “Write about a time you felt nostalgic.” He knows the only time he’s felt nostalgic was back at High School with Jacob.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nostalgia in an Essay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The clock struck 4 am, but Kevin was still nowhere near finished with his college essay. The topic was “Write about a time you felt nostalgic.” and he knew from day one the only time he felt nolstagic was back in highschool with Jacob. </p>
<p>   oh jacob.</p>
<p>  Back in highschool, they had the best time together. They didn’t care about anything but each other (and probably grades too, they had strict parents). That all changed when Jacob got accepted into his dream school. Yes, Kevin was extremely happy for him, but now after almost a year later, he wished he had cherished those trivial days spent together. They barely got to hang out anymore, as Jacob was busy with assignments and projects. That and their universities being almost a 3 hour drive.  </p>
<p>  Even thinking about the old days weakened Kevin’s heart. Before he knew it, his eyes started to water. He ignored his incoming tears and really tried thinking about something else he could write about. He suddenly thought of an idea. </p>
<p>  “A time I felt nostalgic was when I played with my childhood dog, Oreo.” Kevin typed. </p>
<p>  His brain then immediately went blank. He mentally couldn’t write about some imaginary childhood dog. Kevin wanted to write about Jacob, his Jacob,  but he knew he couldn’t write about him. He had to send the online paper to his professor to grade, and he couldn’t just pour his heart, soul, and repressed feelings into some stupid essay. As much as he tried though, he just couldn’t shake off the feeling of pain. Ever since he befriended Jacob, he knew he was the one. Before Kevin knew it, his hands got closer to the keyboard. </p>
<p>  “The paper’s due at 8 am and it’s worth 60% of my grade. If I don’t turn this in, I’ll fail the whole class.” Kevin whispered to himself. “It’s better than a 0.” </p>
<p>  After thinking about it for another minute, he knew he had to just let it out and turn it in. Maybe his professor wouldn’t even mind his really lonely essay. </p>
<p>  He went back to his happy memories and first thought of the hand holding incident. </p>
<p>*𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲*</p>
<p>  “I’m just saying, the movie we watched last time was totally stupid.“ Jacob said to Kevin. They were supposed to be working on homework in Kevin’s room, but both knew that was never gonna happen.</p>
<p>  “I thought it was sweet. I love coming of age movies.“ Kevin replied to Jacob. </p>
<p>  “I love coming of age movies too, but it was just so unrealistic. Jonathan held Natalie’s hand for 2 seconds and she suddenly became a blushing mess? Get it together girl!“ Jacob ranted. </p>
<p>  “I think you’re nitpicking it. That does happen, just not to you.“ Kevin said. </p>
<p>  “What about you. Does it happen to you?“ Jacob asked. </p>
<p>  “What do you mean.“ Kevin replied. </p>
<p>  “If I hold your hand, will you become a blushing mess?“ Jacob smiled and suddenly grabbed Kevin’s hand. </p>
<p>  “S-Stop!“ Kevin stuttered. His face instantly turned the other way. His cheeks started to burn up and he couldn’t look at Jacob. </p>
<p>  “Kev, are you blushing?” Jacob laughed. </p>
<p>  “N-No! I just like looking at this wall.” Kevin said. </p>
<p>  “It’s okay. I won’t judge you.” Jacob laughed and gently squeezed Kevin’s hand. </p>
<p>  Kevin’s face kept turning a deeper shade of red. His stomach also started to get butterflied again. Those little shits kept fluttering and fluttering. </p>
<p>  “You’re so cute sometimes.” Jacob smiled. “Anyways, we should really get back to the homework. Did you get anything for question 18?” </p>
<p>*𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑹*</p>
<p>  “That was fun.“ Kevin said to himself. “I should really rewatch the movie again. </p>
<p>  He finished typing and then went straight to another lovely memory. This one hit hard, as it was when they first met. </p>
<p>*𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲*</p>
<p>  It was a normal afternoon for Kevin. He watered his plants and then left for a walk around the block. Everything was all normal until an adorable dog jumped onto him. </p>
<p>  “SUNNY!“ Jacob yelled and immediately picked up the dog. “I’m so sorry. She loves tackling new people.”</p>
<p>  Kevin got up and saw how cute the dog AND dog’s owner was. </p>
<p>  “O-Oh, no need to apologize. I love dogs.” Kevin smiled. </p>
<p>  “Wait. Aren’t you also a freshman at Creker High?” Jacob asked. </p>
<p>  “Yes! I am. I’m glad someone around my age lives here. I’m Kevin.” Kevin said. </p>
<p>  “I’m Jacob.” Jacob smiled. “I know we just met and all, but I help animals get adopted and was wondering if you could come to a little event that helps these animals like Sunny get adopted faster.”</p>
<p>  “So Sunny’s not your actual dog?” Kevin asked.</p>
<p>  “Nope. I was just taking her on a walk. I don’t even live here.” Jacob chuckled. </p>
<p>  “Oh wow, you really convinced me.” Kevin smiled. “When’s the event?”</p>
<p>  “Thursday at 2 pm. It’s at the park on Washington street.” </p>
<p>  “I’ll be there.” Kevin exclaimed. </p>
<p>  *𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑹*</p>
<p>  The story never failed to impress everyone. Kevin talked about it with Jacob and he said if Sunny hadn’t tackled him, Jacob wouldn’t have talked to him, causing for them to never meet. It all happened perfectly and Kevin would have never wanted it done another way. </p>
<p>  “How was he even friends with me?” Kevin laughed to himself. Highschool him was so much more different than College him. He was grateful Jacob sticked with him from the beginning til’ the end. </p>
<p>  He saw that he only needed his last body paragraph and then he was done. He went back inside his head to think of one last nostalgic memory with his love. He then decided to ponder over the bad day incident. </p>
<p>*𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲*</p>
<p>  “Kevin, why weren’t you in class today?“ Jacob asked. He was on a call with Kevin. </p>
<p>  “It’s n-nothing. I just didn’t feel like going.“ Kevin’s voice cracked. </p>
<p>  “That doesn’t sound like you at all. And why does it sound like you’ve been crying all day?“ Jacob said. </p>
<p>  “I just d-didn’t want to go, okay? Can I not have a damn break every once in a while? And my voice is fine, I just have a cough. Stop assuming everything.“ Kevin snapped. </p>
<p>  “I’m coming over.“ Jacob stated and ended the call before Kevin could even say no. </p>
<p>  In reality, he didn’t just not feel like going. Yesterday, he had the worst day ever, resulting in a messed up today. His art teacher pulled him outside and started to shame him for his “bad art“, he failed his history test, and everyone in his gym class thought it’d be funny to target him in dodgeball. Even the people on his team threw balls at him. What they all didn’t know was how personal he’d take everything. One failed history test? It happens, but getting shamed for “wrong art“ and getting trampled in cheap dodgeballs? He felt like everyone hated him. It also didn’t help that Jacob was absent for the whole day because of volleyball championships. </p>
<p>  “Kevin! It’s Jacob, open the door.“ Jacob yelled. </p>
<p>  “Why’d you bother coming here!“ Kevin yelled back. </p>
<p>  “Open the door!“ Jacob yelled. </p>
<p>  Kevin then wiped off his remaining tears and hesitantly opened the door. </p>
<p>  “So you have been crying?“ Jacob softly said and just hugged Kevin. It was like all of his worries disappeared. Jacob’s head gently rested on Kevin’s shoulder. </p>
<p>  “J-Jacob, thank you for coming over.” Kevin whispered.</p>
<p>  “Of course. You know I try to always be there for you. You’re my best friend.” Jacob said.</p>
<p> Ouch, friend-zoned. </p>
<p>  All of his worries then started to come back. Jacob was JUST a friend, nothing more. Everything he’s done was just a friendly friend gesture. Kevin’s eyes then watered and he started to cry again.</p>
<p>  “Do you wanna lie down?” Jacob looked at Kevin.</p>
<p>  Kevin then thought if he lied down, Jacob would leave and then he’d be able to sulk in his miseries some more.</p>
<p>  “Y-Yes.” Kevin whispered. They then went to Kevin’s room and Kevin laid down. </p>
<p>  “Are you hungry?” Jacob asked as he sat down next to Kevin. </p>
<p>  “You don’t have to do anything for me.” Kevin replied. </p>
<p>  “Ramen or tteokbokki?” Jacob asked. </p>
<p>  “It’s fine, you don’t have to-“ Kevin reassured. </p>
<p>  “Answer the question.” Jacob said in a firm voice. </p>
<p>  “R-Ramen.” Kevin instantly answered. Jacob only used that tone of voice when he was dead serious. </p>
<p>  “Get some rest, you still seem tired. I’ll wake you up when it’s done, okay?” Jacob softly spoke and left. </p>
<p>  Kevin was really appreciative of Jacob. Jacob’s instincts were crazy accurate. He knew when Kevin was sad, mad, lonely, or even hungry every time. He’d like to pretend that they were soulmates in his head, as it was an escape of the friend zoned reality.</p>
<p>  His mind started to get sleepy and before he knew it, he started to dream... </p>
<p>  “Hey, Kevin.” Jacob opened the door and called. </p>
<p>  “Is it done yet?” Kevin sat up and asked. </p>
<p>  “Not yet, but I want to talk to you about something.” Jacob said.</p>
<p>  “Sure. What is it?” </p>
<p>   “I just want to say that I like you.” Jacob said. </p>
<p>  “W-What do you mean?” Kevin stuttered. </p>
<p>  “I don’t want us to just be friends anymore.” Jacob confessed and gently held Kevin’s hands. </p>
<p>  “Then what do you want us to be?” Kevin asked. </p>
<p>  “Boyfriends.” Jacob smiled. </p>
<p>  “O-Oh Jacob, I don’t know what to say. But, I want us to be boyfriends too. I thought you’d never asked.” Kevin smiled back. </p>
<p>  “You don’t have to say anything. Let this speak all the words.” Jacob said and looked at Kevin’s lips dearly. He then started to lean in. Kevin knew exactly what he was doing and loved every second. He felt so exhilarated. This was it, he was about to kiss his crush, something most would only d͟r͟e͟a͟m͟ about. Wait, dream? </p>
<p>*𝑲𝒏𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝑲𝒏𝒐𝒄𝒌*</p>
<p>  “Kevin, it’s done. Come out to the kitchen and eat it while it’s still hot. </p>
<p>  Kevin immediately sat up and looked around. He realized that it was all a dream. There was no confessing Jacob or long awaited kiss. None of it happened. Kevin’s heart plummeted and he felt so paralyzed with reality. His mind made all of it up, for what? So that Kevin could feel validated. So that Kevin could feel better about himself, just for one moment. </p>
<p>  “Kevin. What’s with the holdup, it’s gonna get cold.” Jacob opened the door and exclaimed.</p>
<p>  “Just wrap it up. I-I’ll eat it later.” Kevin said.</p>
<p>  “No way. I made it extra special this time. The ramen and extra ingredients will get soggy,” Jacob said. </p>
<p>  “Well too bad, because I’m not gonna step one foot on the floor.” Kevin yelled. </p>
<p>  “Fine,” Jacob evilly smiled. “I’ll carry you.” </p>
<p>  “W-What no way-“ Kevin stopped before getting picked up by Jacob bride style. “Jacob what are you doing!!!” </p>
<p>  Jacob ignored Kevin’s complaints and carried Kevin all the way to the table. </p>
<p>  “There.” Jacob said and sat Kevin down. </p>
<p>  “You didn’t have to do that. It would’ve been way easier to just wrap the soup and throw it in the fridge.” Kevin complained. </p>
<p>  “But what if I wanted to do it? Jacob smiled. “Besides, you’re as light as a feather.”</p>
<p>  “Whatever.” Kevin said and picked up the chopsticks conveniently right next to the bowl. He definitely did recognize the special things inside the soup like a perfectly cooked egg, some leftover bok-choy, a bit of dried seaweed, some thinly sliced pork, and a dash of toasted sesame seeds.</p>
<p>  “I’ll pay your parents back for using the ingredients tomorrow.” Jacob said as he watched Kevin eat. </p>
<p>  “No need to. They literally bought the bok-choy and dried seaweed the other day because they knew you liked it.” Kevin reassured and continued to eat. He didn’t realize how hungry he was until he finished eating the big bowl in less than 10 minutes.</p>
<p>  “Kevin. Eat slower next time, it not healthy to eat that quickly.” Jacob warned. </p>
<p>  “You know, if I get rich one day, I’ll for sure hire you as my personal chef. Your cooking’s literally amazing.” Kevin smiled. </p>
<p>  “You don’t have to pay me a single cent. Seeing you eat enough everyday pays more than enough.” </p>
<p>  “The only down-side is if you continue to feed me all of this carb heavy food, I’m not gonna be supposedly as light as a feather anymore?” Kevin chuckled.</p>
<p>  “If I need to carry you again, then I’ll just work out more and then I’ll be stronger.” Jacob suggested. “Improvise, adapt, and overcome.” </p>
<p>  “That meme’s so old!” Kevin giggled. </p>
<p>*𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑹*</p>
<p>  Kevin finished writing the last words and glanced over it. All he had to do now was write the conclusion and he was done. He still felt like it was on the personal side, but it was now 5:30 and he was desperate. Besides, his professor’s been teaching for over 10 years and definitely knew his paper wouldn’t be the most horrible paper they’ve read. </p>
<p>  While writing the conclusion, the back of his head still thought of one last memory that should’ve been forgotten months ago. The day Jacob told him he got excepted into his dream school. </p>
<p>*𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲*</p>
<p>  Kevin and Jacob’s graduation party wasn’t a traditional party. They decided instead of doing an actual party, they’d just drive around the city at night and do fun things together. </p>
<p>  They ate fancy desserts, went to a karaoke place to sing their heart out, went shopping for random and very unnecessary things at Target, and even though they were both 18, played a few games of laser tag with judgmental 10 year olds.  </p>
<p>  That wasn’t why Kevin’s heart was beating faster every second though. He was about to confess his feeling to Jacob at the end of the night. He and Eric even went jewelry shopping to find the perfect necklace to really seal the deal. The necklace was a beautiful pure silver necklace with a sun charm. The sun charm represented Sunny, the miracle dog that made them meet. Yes, Kevin had to work extra shifts at his part-time job to afford it, but it was all gonna be worth it. </p>
<p>  The night was getting later and their last stop was at a cliff that really showcased the stunning city. They were’t the only ones there, as it was a public area, but they’re definitely did not feel cramped. </p>
<p>  “Kevin. I’m so glad I got to spend my whole high school with you. People say that high school’s the worst years of your life, but you made it probably the best.” Jacob smiled at Kevin. They were still inside Jacob’s car, enjoying the view.</p>
<p>  “I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m so thankful I met you. You’ve made me who I am today and I will forever be grateful.” Kevin smiled back. </p>
<p>  “Although, there’s something I need to tell you.” Jacob sighed. </p>
<p>  “Same here.” Kevin said as he put his hand in his pocket to make sure the necklace was still in there. “You can go first.” </p>
<p>  “O-Oh. Okay. So you know KaKao University?” Jacob asked as he looked dearly at Kevin.</p>
<p>  “Yeah, KA university, what about it?” Kevin said nervously.</p>
<p>  “I know we promised each other that we’d both go to Creker College, but I checked my email and saw that... I got excepted into KaKao!” Jacob said quietly.</p>
<p>  Kevin felt his whole body sink. He felt like crying, as he knew what Jacob was about to say next. </p>
<p>  “You know it’s my dream college and.. and I just can’t turn down this opportunity. We can still visit each other, but we can’t be roommates or have weekly movie nights like we originally wanted to.” Jacob’s voice cracked. “You’re okay with it, right?” </p>
<p>  “Of course I am.” Kevin managed to say.</p>
<p>  “That’s so amazing! Anyways, what were you going to say?” Jacob asked. </p>
<p>  “I... got you a necklace... since we graduated!” Kevin said with a fake smile and pulled out the necklace.</p>
<p>  “It’s so beautiful! I love the sun charm,” Jacob excitedly exclaimed. “Does it mean anything? I know you love simple things that have deep meanings.”</p>
<p>  “It represents Sunny, the dog that made us meet.” Kevin forcefully smiled. </p>
<p>  “It’s lovely. I wish I got you something though.” Jacob frowned.</p>
<p>  “Y-You didn’t have to get me anything. You spending time on me is more than enough.” Kevin said.</p>
<p>  “You’re so cheesy. Anyways, it’s getting really late. We should get home.” Jacob said and they drove back home.</p>
<p>*𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑹*</p>
<p>  Tears floded everywhere. His face poured more and more tears and it was getting everywhere. He typed the last sentence, glanced over the essay and tried turning in his assignment to his professor. He then closed his laptop and went to bed, still crying and reminiscing over the old days. </p>
<p>  What he didn’t realize was that while his eyes were still foggy from tears, he miss-clicked emails. Instead of sending the essay to his professor, he sent it to Jacob.</p>
<p>  Jacob got the essay, not his professor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading this! I really appreciate it. I’ll probably write a sequel, since it did kinda leave on a cliffhanger, but I’m really bad at confessions and that’s basically gonna be the whole premise agshajsjslsks</p></blockquote></div></div>
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